Guest Post by: Alyssa Kutach, MSHRM, SHRM-CP
Have you ever been sitting at your desk at work, just stewing with anger because you and your co-worker got in a tiff over a work assignment? Workplace conflict is all too common in the workforce these days, but is seemingly passed over or swept under the rug as if the problems were not left there to fester.
Workplace conflict is a “dispute” between two or more employees, co-workers or employers. Really anyone involved in a business setting that has a conflict. Conflict in the workplace often fosters insight and growth, yet is frequently perceived as a problem. Basically, workplace conflict can manifest in any situation in which an employee’s concerns or desires differ from those of another person in the same business setting. Unfortunately, most employers do not train their employees how to handle internal conflict, (i.e. why we have Employee Relations in HR, EEOC for Equal Employment and a Grievance process for those who have let it go too far), giving way for emotions such as anger. Anger causes conflicts to escalate and explode, which is why we usually associate conflict with anger. However, conflict is a natural fact of life, and whether you actively avoid, collaborate, compete, compromise or accommodate (conflict resolution styles) it or not, everyone will experience workplace conflict at some point in their life.
Workplace conflict resolution requires a problem solving approach; not a “fix it” approach. Let’s take a bandaid for example. The Bandaid will keep the wound sealed for a time being, but it is only temporary and can leave damaging scars if not treated properly. The same goes for relationships in the workplace and conflict resolution. It takes time for a wound to heal, and you need much more than a simple “I’m sorry” to fix a longer lasting problem. One of the best ways to work out these differences is for the employees to talk together in an open dialogue. Although open dialogue is a good avenue, it is not always the best option for resolving workplace conflict because everyone processes conflict differently. We cannot expect everyone to solve their conflicts in the same manner. Let’s take for example, the different types of conflict, such as healthy conflict, which are disagreements that are communicated in a supportive environment that foster the generation of new ideas or ways to problem solve. Whereas damaging conflict manifests in the form of name calling, personal attacks, being silent and withdrawn, or afraid to speak up; Cliques, gossip and rumors, accompanied by a lack of mutual respect. Damaging conflict is what we see most often in the workplace conflicts because, anger, is an emotion characterized by a strong feeling or displeasure and/or desire for revenge, usually triggered by a real or imagined wrong doing to the sufferer, and thus the co-workers find themselves in an Employee Relations mediation session.
From my experience, the most common way that a mediation is initiated in the workplace is through recommendation by a supervisor. Although, this makes the whole essence of mediation a little less voluntary, Supervisors are the ones who usually see the problems happen and “Step-in” to make sure that it is addressed. Unfortunately, this also tends to stem from ongoing rumors and gossip that is already happening in the workplace.
Workplace mediation aims to get to the heart of the conflict. If you can address the root of the problem, it is easier to transform into a new relationship. But to do this, both sides need to agree on what the disagreement is. Workplace mediation helps the disputants discuss what needs are not being met as to ensure mutual understanding between the two. This does not mean they have to agree with how the problem happened, but the fact that there is a problem and that both sides recognize that. To get to this understanding the Mediators in workplace mediation help the co-workers to obtain as much information as possible by asking questions until all is understood. Once everything is understood, addressed and has nothing left to say, that is when the participants are able to move forward and begin to build a new workplace relationship. Now this doesn’t mean that every workplace mediation ends in an agreement, but at least a mutual understanding of where everyone stands and how to continue a working relationship (or not).
There is always a time when mediation is appropriate for workplace conflict or not. Usually, the most appropriate cases for workplace mediation is for participants who want to transform their relationship and resolve their dispute by the end of the mediation. But not everyone feels the same about conflict. Some employees have differing perspectives and honestly just don’t get along (meaning there isn’t an apparent conflict) and this is usually due to personality. These kinds of employees do not want to resolve and are fine being in conflict. Situations like this are apparent and may lead the employee ultimately wanting to resign from the job due to “organizational fit”.
Workplace mediation teaches employees how to use open communication that is necessary for problem solving workplace conflict. This is most prevalent in the business setting because that is what employees and employers do, is work together collectively on their common goal of sustaining a business. Allowing co-workers, employees and employers to mediate and openly talk about their disagreements help to expand the pie pieces (option generation) of collaborative group effort through communication by creating the ultimate goal of business synergy.
Alyssa Kutach, a volunteer mediator at the Central Texas Dispute Resolution Center, and has a passion for workplace mediation. Since she was young, she has wanted to be a mediator and has made it her life’s goal to become a Distinguished Mediator in the State of Texas, and someday maybe even Internationally. After achieving an undergraduate degree in Psychology and while achieving her Master’s in Human Resource Management from Texas State University in San Marcos, Texas, Alyssa started working at the Central Texas Dispute Resolution Center. Throughout her time at the DRC she has been a strong believer in peacefully resolving conflict through mediation for the unserved and underserved of Central Texas. When Alyss is not living and breathing mediation, she is at home on the weekends with her dogs and cat, or probably playing videogames.
